So I was cleaning my room today; throwing out some of the kipple that fills it and I had some amazing finds. For one I found my original Jurassic Park Triceratops toy with removable battle wound! Possibly the best action figure ever. There was also a Tamagotchi board game to which the instructions are an absolute mystery.
Getting bored with the business of tidying I made my Incredible Hulk Happy Meal toy fight the Triceratops. Things looked like they could end in defeat for the three horned beast until an interception from Captain Jack Sparrow that caused a pile of documents to collapse onto The Hulk. Despite the carnage this unearthed an absolute gem. A 2000 South Park diary that I received for my 14th Birthday.
Now I've never really been one to keep a diary. I have travel journals that are mostly made up of scraps that remind me of certain things. To sit down and day by day write about what's happened and how I feel? I struggle to be that open even to a book. Prefer to keep it all internalised. Always seemed safer.
But for the month of February 2000 a young, apparently very horny ShawZy, did keep a brief diary.
Re-printed for your reading pleasure in its embarrassing original, unedited format to mark the 10th Anniversary. It's very Rorschach in it's short burst statements but instead of views on a degraded society it mostly tell us what I was eating and what Pokemon cards I had bought that day. I was still living in Middlesbrough at the time and it actually features the first time I went to the Isle of Man
Note spelling mistakes are carried over from the original transcript. I couldn't spell tommorow right then. I still can't now.
Jan 31st
First day of using diary. Today is my birthday (14)
Went to Voyager for tea. Had 10oz rump steak. Got many good presents.
Feb 1st
Purchased full set of Buffy Figures
Bought Clefairy Card
Uneventful day. Didn't do paper-round.
2nd
Bought Nidoking
Another uneventful day. Party planned for Saturday 5th Feb, Bowling
3rd
Did maths challenge today. Got A+ (79%) in History Test. Lined up a deal to get a Magneton, will see if can get tommorow.
4th
Bought an Alakazam
Might buy Magneton on Monday. Hired Jackie Chan, Who Am I? video, not bad.
5th
Paid £9 for Paper-round
Party today, went bowling, I won with 111. In arcade went on Street Luge, Crypt Killer, Terraburst, Derby Stallion 2 and Crazy Taxi. Bought Unreal Tournament.
6th
Not much happened today, played Unreal for most of the day. Took Benji for a walk. Watched WWF Heat
Stargate SG-1
7th
Bought Poliwraith
May buy Magneton tommorow. Uneventful school day, humorous Simpsons on TV tonight
8th
Bought Magneton. Bought Misty Tops Card.
Didn't do much today. Watched Harry Enfield in English.
9th
Bought 4 Tops Cards.
Pokemon on TV, Misty looking good dressed as a mermaid. Borrowed £10 from Stuart to buy a Charizard card tommorrow.
10th
Bought Charizard
Finally got all the Pokemon cards (Series 1) Whoay.
No Buffy on TV tonight. D'oh!
11th
Not much happened today. Hired Entrapment, Catherine Zeta Jones is one horny lady. Finished reading the Exorcist. Watched Commando on BBC 1.
12th
Paid £11
Gave Stuart his money back. Bought a packet of Topps trading cards. Went to M'Bro. Didn't get anything. Slept most of the day.
13th
'COMPLETED FINAL FANTASY 8'
Went to Grandparents for tea. Watched WWF and SG1.
14th
Good Pokemon today. Misty is so, so sexy, even if she is a cartoon character. Funny episode of the Simpsons. Got 84% in Geography test.
15th
Bought some Topps Cards.
Had a bag of popcorn for lunch, very nice, much better than school dinners. Watched TV and walked Benji
16th
Put Operation E.G.G.S into plan today. Egged philip carrols house (he dosn't deserve capital letters). Slept for the rest of the night.
17th
Watched Buffy. Sarah Michelle Geller is the SEXIEST woman alive. Watched Top Gear for the first time, screw the cars, the VIkki is a babe, must watch it next week.
18th
Didn't do much today. Played Blood Omen quite alot after school. Still havn't finished yet.
19th
Went to see Toy Story 2 today with Marc, Craig, Hod, Liam. It was quite a good film. Went to Burger King for lunch. Bought an American copy of Azure Dreams.
20th
Another boring day, spent it all playing Azure Dreams. Watched WWF, which was humorous as ever. No SG1 today. Went to McDonald for tea.
21st
Played Azure Dreams for most of the day. Hired Cruel Intentions, very good film. Especially Sarah Michelle Gellar's lesbian kiss.
22nd
Another day playing Azure Dreams, one of my favourite RPGS. Had my hair cut. Watched the Exorcist in the night.
23rd
Today went to the Isle of Man for the rest of the school holidays. Spent most of the day travelling. Went to a Tex-Mex for dinner.
24th
Visited Ramsey Grammar School. Went to Seafood restaurant for lunch then had McDonalds for dinner.
25th
Went shopping today. Bought some Pokemon sliders. Went to an Italian for tea. Very nice Pizza. Dad spent all night winding up the owner. Grandma bought Crazy Taxi for me, I left her the money, but have to wait till sunday to play it.
26th
Went to a country club for lunch. Went shopping again. Bought a Togepi/Jigglypuff figurine pack. Went to theatre and watched Chess, absolute trash, except for some nice blondes. Had chinease for tea(beef chow mein)
27th
Got back from the Isle of Man. Played Crazy Taxi. Brilliant stuff. Watched WWF Heat, annoyed that No Way Out was not on C4 only Sky.
28th
Uneventful day
29th
Did maths test. Card shop got some Fossils in. Bough some.
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