Being stuck in the office on this most glorious of days was disheartning but it meant I could strike at the heart of this corporate behemoth and deal it some cheap shots from the inside without fear of reprocussions (not that that had ever stopped me). I had a carte blanche for mayhem.
A post-it-note over the sensor on a computer mouse will render it useless. Simple but effective. This caught out multiple victims but the best reaction came from my boss who slammed his mouse into the desk in rage before releasing he has been targeted. He looked in my direction and muttered 'dickhead'.
The second set up involved taping over the outlet on the water cooler. Anyone who has had the misfortune of having worked in the cattle truck atmosphere of an office will know the water cooler is sacred. To strike here was an affront to their terrible religion. It was sacrelige.
The first person to realise that someone had poisoned the water hole was a temp. It was a shame that an innocent victim of the machine was stung but one must expect collateral damage in a war. They pressed the button and water spayed out the side. It wasn't the expected result but success none the less!
However one strike wasn't enough. The trap was reset with stonger tape. No water would get out this time. Not a drop. A drought was coming to the third floor.
One of the IT techicians headed over with his pint glass ready for some rehydration. The glass was placed. The button was pressed. It should have been so easy. He'd done this thousands of times. He wasn't even focused on the task. He could do this on autopilot. Not today. It took a few seconds to register that today something was wrong. Confusion reigned. Why wasn't it working?! Where is the water?!
Once he realised he was caught in the web he tried his best to act like all was well. But the eyes of the room were on him and he knew it. To watch this bald man quickly turn from white to red was one of natures great marvels. A true pleasure that I was humbled to have witnessed!
April Fools FTW!
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